Things My Father Taught Me:

So...this past weekend my dad came out with my 2nd oldest brother to help him move from Chicago (very very excited to have Mike, Petra, Kaylee, Taylor and soon to be little Ollie out here :D  ).  Anyways, They got to Provo Friday evening and Dad had to leave to go back to VA for another brother's Law School Graduation (many congratz Matt, glad your family survived) by noonish on Saturday.  So, we were lucky enough (since Andrea and Thad are in Washington and Ben...not sure what Ben was doing) to get Dad for breakfast.  Now...my family has lots of strange traditions and quirks and things that we always say/do.  Albert has pointed a lot of these out to me...and I realized that most of these things are "false traditions of my father"...and I've started making a list of them.
-Peanut butter sandwiches: They're magical.  Really they are.  At least...that's what my dad always taught me.  You see, the only sure-fire way for a bad guy to become a good guy is for the main good guy to give the bad guy a peanut butter sandwich.  Even if the bad guy is tricked into eating it, just one bite of that sandwich changes his attitude completely.  It doesn't matter if the good guy is barbie, or batman, or Ollie the super spy kid or one of the super cousins...peanut butter sandwiches help EVERYONE.
-Icy juice:  Any kind of fruit juice is a billion times better when slightly frozen and with frozen bits of the juice floating around in there.
-"K love you bye": Whenever missionary brothers called home at Christmas and on Mother's Day and Dad thought we were taking too long we were told "say 'love you bye!'" Today I was talking on the phone w/ my dad (just checking in and hoping I wasn't interrupting FHE) and as we were saying goodbye (it was dinner time and everyone was at the table) he told everyone to say "I love you bye" to me, even though I only talked to him.  They all did...though someone (one of the girls...probably beth haha) said it delayed...
-Dude Lunch: When I first said those two words together, Albert gave me a very confused look.  Dude lunch is a tradition started...probably because of mom being pregnant and not being able to stand the sight/smell/thought of food long enough to make anything...or just from dad trying to be helpful...probably a combination of both. What is it?  Just a bunch of random stuff (most importantly: cheese, bread, peanut butter, some sort of fruit (usually apples) and a few bags of popcorn) thrown on the table with plates, cups, and a few utensils (occasionally).  To this day, it's still one of my favorite meals. :)
-Captive Audience? : You have to sing oldies in the car...and it has to be at the top of your lungs...ok not always HAS to be at the top of your lungs...but fairly often.
-Eggies: Ramen tastes best with eggs cooked in it.  End of story.
-"Midnight" snacks: They can be given at any time of night and either consist of apple slices and cheese or (if you're older and are staying out of bed and mom is dead asleep) strips of steak meat fried up and boiled eggs or (if you're visiting from college and most of the younger kids are asleep) ice cream. :)  My favorite was always the apple slices and cheese (I used to steal bits from my youngest sister Tiffany when dad brought HER snacks  bahaha)
-Ollie:  Somewhere in the world there is a little once-orphan boy named Ollie (I wanna say he was in India, but that might be Kiplings "Kim") who works for the government and has tons of awesome spy gadgets and often saves the world/country from bad guys.  This is a tradition of TWO generations.  Both my father and grandfather told Ollie stories.  I probably will carry on this tradition.
-Barbie Land:  It exists.  And the door to Barbie land glows and you can hear the barbies calling for help when they need it.
-Everyone wins:  this is a great tradition, though frustrating when you actually DO win or are about to win...
-Polka: at almost every dance that my dad and I are at, if there is enough space (and even if there's only BARELY enough space) we find a song that works as a polka and polka around the outside of the crowd.
-Sticks: it is almost always essential to have a "walking stick" or some kind of stick in your hand when you are going on a hike/walk through the woods.
-Sticks 2: When you have a long thin branch of a tree (usually a pear tree) and the end is sharpened to a point (especially when you plan on using it to roast marshmallows, hot dogs or anything really over a campfire) it is called a "mubumba"...the word came originated from my older brothers and stuck.

There are probably a LOT more that I'm leaving out (which is happening only because I cannot think of any more, but please, if you have more "false traditions" please feel free to comment and add to the list. :)